sometimes my blog title haunts me. by the posts i have, it looks as if i don't think at all. pictures, goals, complaints, but not much else. But truly, i really do think, and when i sit down to write a little somethin something i cant seem to coagulate my thoughts enough to create something actually readable. then on top of that i really don't have the care to fix spelling, run on sentences, or puncuation. Which i know kills about half of you. So then of course i argue with myself about whether or not i should really care, and in the end i end up with a what? picture or complaint. you guessed it!
however, not today. today i'm gonna write.
i'm listening to Lonestars holiday station on Pandora radio currently. I love it! i have the CD in my car too, and i can't get enough of it! The holiday season is my ALL TIME favourite. Always has been, always will be. i love EVERYTHING about it. the smells, the happy faces, the incredible feelings, the lights, the foods, the families, the dreams coming true.. everything is so simply magical. Heavens gate will read "Tis the Season" when i arrive. I am not home, or completely happy unless its glowing around me.. maigally glowing. :)
next to the holiday season arriving, i've also been thinking alot about school. {insert internal sigh here}
i don't really hate school as much as i think i do. Infact, when i actually go to class and pay attention, i'm really intrigued by what my professors have to say. But for some reason it takes so much for my mental mind to get to that point. I read a bumper sticker today that read " if you think education is expensive try ignorance." just to tell you how much this bumper sticker describes me.. i'll tell you that i actually had look up the definition of ignorance. Doesn't that just scream pathetic? I really do complain about the cost of college a lot. Whether or not i have a scholarship or not, the cost still drives me batty. No way on earth should eight classes cost me 3,500 PLUS. and thats for one of the most inexpensive instituitions in Utah. I am horrible at money, I'm horrible at getting serious about things, and the stress of money, though largly a part of my daily biffs, is still so unreal to me. So, instead of saving every penny i earn, or attending every class with full attention, I am found slacking off, and eating out EVERYWHERE. How does this happen? i don't know. How does this happen over and over again? Good question. If there is one class i should be spending upwards of 4,000 to attend it should be how to grow up and manage your expenses. {i know the college probably has a class for that, get off my back. thank you. :) } Sigh.. i am at the college now actually. In the computer center, blogging and pinterest-ing. Never mind the fact that i have come to do an actual load of three hour homework. life is good. By the way, i just got off the phone with my little brother who informed me that in fact, the office was wrong, and block schedule started a week ago, and we can no longer test out of CIS. which means .. well a bunch of crappy things. College never ceases to get better and better. not.
point 99. I am sooooo getting fat. Bigger and bigger everyday actually. its really quite atrocious. However, my auntie just gave me a pair of perfect fitting {if i was size happy} jeans, and they are my birthday goal. i know, i know, another weightloss goal... but hey! atleasat i haven't given up ALL my hope yet. And hopefully these jeans will be my shining beacon. they really are so so adorable. and i think i could actually look fabulous with these babies on my day of birth. Which by the way, will make me a twenty year old women. CRAZY!
I have been thinking a lot about marraige lately. { Chantay, if you read this, relax. this is good.} :) Not that i want to get married or anything, but i've been thinking quite seriously about the kind of man i will need to end up with. Notice the word NEED, not WANT. With my phsyco mood changes, split personalities, wanderlusting heart, and never satisfied soul... i'm going to be a serious heartache for the man who is crazy enough to say yes. And because of this, i know i can't just settle for any man.. or i will end up either alone in the end, or with a distraught old man who hates me {and probably himself too.} Neither of which sound like heaven to me. SO along with trying to fix everything wrong with me, i have also been paying some true attention to the kind of man that will build me up. the kind that won't give up. :) When i watched The Singles Ward last night, the main character said something along the lines of when you are just a regular person you have to impress people just for a couple hours. when you are LDS you have to imediatly impress them enough for the rest of enternity. {haha} thats a dang lot of pressure. especially when you don't even impress yourself for a couple minutes. i have a lot of work to do.. but atleast i know now that i won't be setteling. ever. { and by never setteling i don't mean i'm only going to marry "up." i mean i'm going to marry a crazy person who's love for me will last past my crazyness.}
peace out kids.
however, not today. today i'm gonna write.
i'm listening to Lonestars holiday station on Pandora radio currently. I love it! i have the CD in my car too, and i can't get enough of it! The holiday season is my ALL TIME favourite. Always has been, always will be. i love EVERYTHING about it. the smells, the happy faces, the incredible feelings, the lights, the foods, the families, the dreams coming true.. everything is so simply magical. Heavens gate will read "Tis the Season" when i arrive. I am not home, or completely happy unless its glowing around me.. maigally glowing. :)
next to the holiday season arriving, i've also been thinking alot about school. {insert internal sigh here}
i don't really hate school as much as i think i do. Infact, when i actually go to class and pay attention, i'm really intrigued by what my professors have to say. But for some reason it takes so much for my mental mind to get to that point. I read a bumper sticker today that read " if you think education is expensive try ignorance." just to tell you how much this bumper sticker describes me.. i'll tell you that i actually had look up the definition of ignorance. Doesn't that just scream pathetic? I really do complain about the cost of college a lot. Whether or not i have a scholarship or not, the cost still drives me batty. No way on earth should eight classes cost me 3,500 PLUS. and thats for one of the most inexpensive instituitions in Utah. I am horrible at money, I'm horrible at getting serious about things, and the stress of money, though largly a part of my daily biffs, is still so unreal to me. So, instead of saving every penny i earn, or attending every class with full attention, I am found slacking off, and eating out EVERYWHERE. How does this happen? i don't know. How does this happen over and over again? Good question. If there is one class i should be spending upwards of 4,000 to attend it should be how to grow up and manage your expenses. {i know the college probably has a class for that, get off my back. thank you. :) } Sigh.. i am at the college now actually. In the computer center, blogging and pinterest-ing. Never mind the fact that i have come to do an actual load of three hour homework. life is good. By the way, i just got off the phone with my little brother who informed me that in fact, the office was wrong, and block schedule started a week ago, and we can no longer test out of CIS. which means .. well a bunch of crappy things. College never ceases to get better and better. not.
point 99. I am sooooo getting fat. Bigger and bigger everyday actually. its really quite atrocious. However, my auntie just gave me a pair of perfect fitting {if i was size happy} jeans, and they are my birthday goal. i know, i know, another weightloss goal... but hey! atleasat i haven't given up ALL my hope yet. And hopefully these jeans will be my shining beacon. they really are so so adorable. and i think i could actually look fabulous with these babies on my day of birth. Which by the way, will make me a twenty year old women. CRAZY!
I have been thinking a lot about marraige lately. { Chantay, if you read this, relax. this is good.} :) Not that i want to get married or anything, but i've been thinking quite seriously about the kind of man i will need to end up with. Notice the word NEED, not WANT. With my phsyco mood changes, split personalities, wanderlusting heart, and never satisfied soul... i'm going to be a serious heartache for the man who is crazy enough to say yes. And because of this, i know i can't just settle for any man.. or i will end up either alone in the end, or with a distraught old man who hates me {and probably himself too.} Neither of which sound like heaven to me. SO along with trying to fix everything wrong with me, i have also been paying some true attention to the kind of man that will build me up. the kind that won't give up. :) When i watched The Singles Ward last night, the main character said something along the lines of when you are just a regular person you have to impress people just for a couple hours. when you are LDS you have to imediatly impress them enough for the rest of enternity. {haha} thats a dang lot of pressure. especially when you don't even impress yourself for a couple minutes. i have a lot of work to do.. but atleast i know now that i won't be setteling. ever. { and by never setteling i don't mean i'm only going to marry "up." i mean i'm going to marry a crazy person who's love for me will last past my crazyness.}
peace out kids.
