Saturday I woke up to rain. I was disappointed because I was really hoping to go up on my hike. I needed the fresh air, and the large spaces. Finally by noon the sky cleared enough for me to brave the potential rain, and I headed out. Adorned with my ipod stuffed in a cut-up tube sock on my arm, and my awesome orange Nike's, I hit the road and didn't stop till I reached the top.
There I let myself breath, took out the head phones, swigged some water, and sat myself down on a man made bench. The view from "my spot" is beautiful. Perhaps even more so after a morning rain. Although the air wasn't a pine tree scent like I would prefer, the freshness was good enough for me, and I began to let myself think of all the things I was burdened with.
Fear of not being smart enough to start a business.
Fear that I won't earn the money in time.
Fear that some how I won't be able to get all the scarves home.
Fear that this might all be a bigger success then I thought, and I'll be stuck with not enough scarves.
Fear that people will make fun of my awful spelling and use of too man coma's.
Fear that I will be a horrible role model, boss, friend, mother, wife, spokes person, or whatever else.
Fear that I won't make my company centered around Christ.
Fear that I will loose sight in all things.
Fear that I will let my fear get the best of me.
In my "Business Bible" I have read and re-read all the pages and stories about fear. I have collected quotes and antidotes. Yet, as much as I try to shake it, I sit here still trembling with the thoughts of doubt.
But what helps this, is what happened Saturday afternoon on top of that mountain.
I prayed for a clear mind, and a clear heart. I prayed for the understanding of what I should and must do. & for the confirmation that what I am embarking on was the right thing for me, my future family, and God's plan.
After praying I sat silently for a moment trying to be still the voices in my mind. After a truly quiet moment or two, I decided to read some scripture. I have had the goal to finish the Book of Mormon, and had been reading a chapter a day, my plan then was to read just that one chapter.. but by miracle (seriously, a miracle. i never read more then what i have to when it comes to the scriptures...) I continued on. I read the last chapter of Ether, and then the book of Moroni. (that means I finished, by the way. go me!) When I came to chapter 7, some of my fears were silenced.
"But behold, that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do good continually; wherefore, every thing which inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love God, and to serve him, is inspired of God. "
my answer that yes, this business endeavor is inspired of God
continuing on..
"...Men began to exercise faith in Christ; and thus by faith, they did lay hold upon every good thing; and thus it was until the coming of Christ.
And after that he came men also were saved by faith in his name; and by faith, they become the sons of God. and as surely as Christ liveth he spake these words unto our fathers, saying: Whatsoever thing ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is good, in faith believing that ye shall receive, behold, it shall be done unto you."
I ask for confidence that this is my story, that this is what I should do with my life. For the faith to believe in myself.
"And again, my beloved brethren, I would speak unto you concerning hope. How is it that ye can attain unto faith, save ye shall have hope?
And what is it that ye shall hope for? Behold I say unto you that ye shall have hope through the atonement of Christ and the power of his resurrection, to be raised unto life eternal, and this because of your faith in him according to the promise.
Wherefore, if a man have faith he must needs have hope; for without faith there can not be any hope.
And again, behold i say unto you that he cannot have faith and hope, save he shall be meek, and lowly of heart. "
I am given reason to have faith, to have hope, and how to obtain them.
"If so, his faith and hope is vain, for none is acceptable before God, save the meek and lowly in heart; and if a man be meek and lowly in heart, and confesses by the power of the Holy Ghost that Jesus is the Christ, he must needs have charity; for if he have not charity he is nothing; wherefore he must needs have charity."
The keys on how to be a successful leader, mother, wife, boss, friend.. Charity. Christ like love. Pure love.
"Charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
wherefore my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth."
"Wherefore my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen."
The plea to never loose sight of God. I can not do this, or anything else alone. I must have faith and trust in the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.. If I am to succeed in anything. I must grow towards him with full intent. And above all things, I must become filled with his love, purified to be like Him.
These scriptures and many more have helped me to focus my mind and heart once again on what is truly important. & the true, and only, road to success.
fear and faith can not live within the same body. I must choose one.
It's scary, it's a lot, it's life changing, and it's binding..
but it's worth it.
"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every
experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to
say to yourself, “I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that
comes.”… you must do the thing you think you can not do. –Eleanor Roosevelt
Everything is unknown by definition.
