i came to California.
on whim, just this last Thursdays.
I'm still here. It's my last night.
i don't know if i came to just see my family, to talk to my uncle Mike about religion slash life, to get away, to be sure i didn't back track, or just for the heck of it.
of course it has been great, seeing my family is ALWAYS great. I really love them all :)
but once again, the phrase, "Wherever you go, there you are." has rang true.
you cant.. run away from your fears, or anger.
you can't search the world for peace and harmony..
you have to set your feet firmly where they are, and create that which you are in need of.
whatever it may be.
and, if it just so happens you can't create whatever it is you need.. then you should focus on giving what you need, to someone else. Be someone's hug, friend, safety net, or adventure.
I'm not going to China to escape my home. to post pone college. or to flee an endless sea of no nice guys..
I'm going because i want to make a difference in peoples lives. and as a head teacher, you are given the direct opportunity to do just that.
i am going to learn more of another culture. to embrace a part of the world, i have never known.
i am going so i can become strong.
if only i will remember this, when the going gets tough.
my mind plays a lot of tricks on me. and its pretty easy to loose focus.
but, i do know how important it is to LIVE where you ARE. exactly.
granted, i'm horrible at it. But every day i wake up, i renew my goal to embrace THIS day. these moments.
and thats the most important part. to try.
so i may be in California currently because its just another form of my running,
or i may be here simply because i am.
but either way, I'm glad i am here.
just as i am glad wherever i may be.
seriously. :)
