wowzers. I haven't written in a while..
I guess you could say I've done a little bit of "hiding out".
No Fb, not much blogging, and kicking it with my books recently has been....
quite nice. And I don't think I'm done either. Today is just an exception because I want it to be.
I went and talked to my bishop a couple weeks ago. The first question I asked him was what his name is. Thats how "low" I have been playing it. We ended up talking for about an hour, and ended with a blessing. It was relieving. But the conversation gave me a lot of things to think about. He kept asking me questions about myself, and about what I want in my life. After replying to them, he would always shake his head and say, "Your so general." He wanted to get down to the gritty stuff. The kind of hopes and dreams I don't even admit to myself. Though try as I might, I could never bring myself to find an answer. So he took the reigns and told me I needed to take an itinerary of my life. and he also told me what the most important thing is that I should be looking for. Can you guess what he said?
a special someone. a close companion. a love interest. a BOYFRIEND.
that was his answer to my problems. I didn't even tell him much, nothing about my love life, or lack there of. Not even anything about my friendship status'. and yet he was relentless to inform me that thats what i needed to focus on. At first I wasn't sure how to take this advice. It seemed a bit... cliche for me. My bishop telling me I needed a boyfriend..right. buuuuuut, that he said something that i took a good liking to. He said, and I quote, "You need someone who is willing, and wants, to accept the kind of love you need to be giving. that you WANT to be giving. But someone who also returns that kind of love. I can tell you have much to give, and its just curling up inside of you, you need to find someone to share it with."
I could get used to this bishop, thats for sure.
Really though, I sincerely appreciated this comment. Because I'm totally serious when I say that I think I would make a pretty dang good girlfriend. haha :) And, I can't help but think that maybe he is right, maybe a boyfriend IS what I need right now. Marriage? no way. But a relationship with someone I can really care about, and have fun with? Now that I am down with.
In my long short life, i have had a few ... opportunities, i guess we can call em, in the dating area. but they were few and far between. Like, a total of two. and the last one was strange enough to not even count. So one, all together? Impressive. I know. But on the friend side of things, I have had a lot of people i have truly cared about. Kids I would do anything for, and I would like to think, would always do anything for. But there is definitely something different between a friendship and a relationship. No, not just the perks of kissing and cuddling. But something else. It's almost a deeper connection. You want them, they want you. And in every way, its an incredible ride. and the more i contemplate it... the more I'd like to think my bishop is right. I would like to get a boyfriend. I would like to love to spend my time and energy on meeting someone else, on sharing who I am, and learning more of me as well. i would love to bake cookies with his mom, and talk about model airplanes with his dad. And a date with a tag along of his little brother or sister? you know it!
so, okay. the answer to my problems may be a little cliche? But we all need a little of that in our lives. right? And besides, its not like I'm doing much else right now.
( though i have to admit, i'm LOVING rugby.)
easy going. honest. fun.
those are my three and only requests. Now the fates can have their way. :)
ps. i wouldn't mind if he looked like this.
just sayin.
