Happy Birthday Shelb :)

Today is my best friends 20th birthday. 

We've been best friends since 7th grade, that's going on 9 years now.. 

best, craziest, profoundest, oddest, yummiest, inspiring 9 years of my life. 

this beautiful girl has a heart of Jade. 

{ I say Jade because it's the most rare and beautiful stone. Worth over 3 million..though you can't put a price on this gal.} 

Shelb is truly rare and beautiful. 

she is strong. 

she is kind.

she is brave.

she is funny. 

she is stylish.

she is a hard worker.

she is talented. 

& she's still my best friend. 

I am so grateful to have met a snips like her. 

Here's to another 9 years of great memories, my dear friend. 

Hope you feel better soon, and your twentieth year brings you nothing but life's truest miracles. 

i love you. 

A tribute to my parents:

Dear Parents, 


    In light of you coming in only a matter of three days all the way across the world to visit your daughter, I'd like to share a few things with you. Things I love about each of you, things I am grateful for, and whatever else spurs in my mind at the moment. 


     One of my favourite things about you guys is that you still love each other. Life hasn't dealt you the best of hands, but I'm willing to bet neither of you would admit that. Through thick and thin, and very very thin, you have stuck together. You have remained on each others side, and showed the world, and most importantly your kids, that love DOES work. And it can work forever, no matter what. That lesson is often lost in this world, but how grateful I am that you two were able to prove the world wrong. My personal romance story to always believe in. I doubt anything could top the romance you two have created. :)


     I am so grateful for the individuals you are. Dad, you are the most humble, gentle, hard working, honest, caring, tannest, blue eyed, sweetest, most faithful man I know. Countless times you have brightened awful days just by being there. I remember one time I was having such a bad day at school.. so you drove, literally, all the way up to the front doors of the school, and we shared a Little Ceasers entire pizza. You don't know how much that meant to me. :)
     Every little moment with you counts. Singing awesome 80's songs in the morning before school, learning to cook on the grill, and all those times you allowed me to be weird in front of people. haha, each one of those moments is a treasure to me. And I look forward to them all. :) But dad, something  you should know I am most grateful for, are your Fathers Blessings.
      How lucky I have been to have such an incredible, sweet man lay his hands upon my head, and bless me with peace, blessings, comfort, or whatever it was I really needed. Even though I have been away from you for five months, I can still feel the way your hands softly touch my head, and how your fingers move slightly all through out the prayer. If I am being completely honest with you, most times I don't remember what you say in your blessings because I am already so consumed with feeling such peace and love by just the touch of your hands, and the clearing of your throat. Those moments will forever mean the most to me. 
       Thank you, for being worthy to uphold your priesthood, for being willing to council and guide me, and for sharing your spirit with mine. I love you dad. You are the most important man in my life. And I pray every day that the man I marry reminds me of you. Because then I will know that, like mom, I chose the best egg. :) 
       Mama, though it may sound odd, I am so glad you have always been my mom first, and my friend second. No matter what, you have always chosen to teach me to choose the right choice, instead of to fix whatever problems i had, with gossip, or anger, or belittling, or whatever I else I wanted to do. I know so many girls who's moms' advice I would never trust.. and that has only instilled my trust in yours. I know that no matter what, you will lead me in the right direction. You always have, and you always will. 
       Mom, thank you for teaching me about never giving up, about loving unconditionally, and about finding the joy in the journey. I have never met a stronger, more faithful, or more loving woman than you. And I doubt I ever will. Through each trial or experience thrown at you, to me, you have always come out on top. You have never stopped looking to the Lord, and you have always kept going. Kept pushing forward, and because of this.. you have succeeded. I wonder if you know how it feels to have a super hero as a mother. Because I can tell you right now... it's the most incredible feeling in the world. :) 
     Besides being the best mother, and constant Christ like example, you have also always been my friend. You have always respected me, and believed in me. Even if I didn't see it sometimes. You have always been my biggest fan, and my largest support system. One small example that meant the world to me is that one day we met at Bajio in Washington to share a lunch together. Though it wasn't really anything, I learned that day that I wanted you to be my best friend,and that i wanted to make you proud. That day you gave me money just to help me out, even though I know you didn't really have the ability too. You also asked me if I would come over to the house more often so we could chat. That question lead to one of the most profound moments I think we've ever had. I'll never forget you reading to me Uchtdorf's talk, baring your testimony, and then reminding me of my own. 
    Mom, it's because of that moment alone, that I know I will NEVER give up on my testimony or the church. I will always believe in God. And I will always believe in the goodness of others, and also myself. You taught me that by loving me. By sharing with me what I needed to hear,from my greatest example. You. I love you mom. And when I say I honestly couldn't ask for a better mother and friend, I mean it. We are so much alike, and I know life only holds more good memories for us to share together. And I can't wait. :)

     Another thing I am extremely (especially now) grateful for is the way you raised me and my siblings. There are so many aspects of your parenting that I admire, and hope to transfer to my own parenting skills. You have loved us no matter what. No matter how we have ended up thus far, or what we have done, nothing has stopped you from unconditionally loving us. And I know nothing will. I have heard of so many parents giving up on their kids, or disowning them, or just not caring to keep that great of a relationship with their children... but I have always felt so opposite from you two. You have supported me, cared for me, respected me, and taught me to become a person I can be proud of. I will never be able to repay you for the happiness, peace, and confidence this has given me. 


   I know that raising us wasn't easy. Especially me. I mean, I stuck a hose through your bathroom window while you were on a date and flooded your bathroom/room.I was constantly giving you grief with Kara, and I can't count the amount of times i called and called and called and called your names at 10 o'clock at night until YOU got out of bed to turn off MY light. Yeah, no angel inside of me whatsoever. haha :)
    But you stuck it through. You taught me the principals you believed in, and exemplified. And out of an incredibly rough rock, you smoothed me into a river stone. Or at least, gave me the tools I needed to get myself all the way there. Teaching me to clean, to pick up after myself, to respect others, to respect myself, to stay humble, to never gossip, to remain close to the Lord, to always search for the bright side, to learn from misfortunes, to work hard, and to always always always show your love. I am who I am today, because of you two. And though that may not seem like a great accomplishment.. I know what I could have been.. and let me tell you, it's the greatest accomplishment in the world.  


   I still have so much to learn from you two. And you know, perhaps for the first time in my life, I'm excited for that. ;) I am excited for you to tell me that I was wrong, and that I could have done better. But you know what I am most excited for? To have my parents be my best friends. :) I couldn't ask for anyone better. And I hope with all my heart that I DO become like you two. I hope that when people meet me, they will know that my parents were great people. :) 


   I love you two more than anything in the world. And I am practically flipping out CONSTANTLY with excitement for the arrival of you two in China. It will be a week to ALWAYS remember. And how blessed I am that I get to share my experience, and the beginning of my, hopefully, career, with the two most wonderful people in my life. I love you. Safe travels, I'll see you on the flip side in exactly one week. :) 


with all my love, 

           Kirsten. 

 Fishermans Wharf. My parents got engaged in San Fransico. :)

 Waiting for the train after our flight to San Fran. It was such a good trip with my parents and best friend. We were able to see so many sights, hear about their engagement, eat yummy pizza & pretzels, and see my uncle for a bit. :)

 A family photo from awhile back. :)

 the girls in the fam. :)

All the kids. We're pretty fly. :)

aint nothin better than a family in blue jeans :) 

the boys of the family.. haha

so in love. :)

 My parents with Tyler, my little cute cousin. ( don't get freaked out, but this picture makes me excited for my parents to be grandparents. :) ) 

 me and my dad. This is the best picture I have of us two... that's gotta change this week. haha

just my parents being their hot selves. :) 

I LOVE my family!

Jer Bear ;)

To my dear Jeremy,


        You turned the ripe age of twenty four last Saturday, and unfortunately I wasn't able to spend it with you. Trust me, had I been there celebration would have been non-stop. ;)  You know, I never expected love to come in a package like you. But yet, even as I am still unwrapping, I can't help but fall even more so in love with you. :)

       Jeremy, I have never met a man who clings to his goals and beliefs as strongly as you do. I have never met a man who loves his family so deeply, as you do. I have never met a man who works as hard as you do, and likes it. And I have never met a man who has so easily persuaded me to see my world in a different way. I've never met a man quite like you before, and this must be why I am transfixed by all that you are. I hope you know you are great.

      My dear, you drive me crazy. In such a beautiful wonderful way. :) You challenge me to test my thoughts, and talents. And you are the most stubborn head strong person I've ever met. Although i detest this sometimes.. I love you even more for it. :) I hope you never give in for what you know to be right. Without you, I'd still be wandering aimlessly. Pretending I know what I am doing, and still thinking I'm pretty cool for doing so. Like so many others, your love has brought me to the basics of life. And I know that that is all that matters. Thank you.

      I may not say it enough, but I am SO proud of you. The strength, dignity, humility, and love that you have amazes me everyday. If I had to live a day in your shoes, I know I wouldn't be able to handle it with even half the class you have. And on top of everything, you still remain true to yourself, and your word. I love you so much for that. :) Your coming into my life, has brought me so much good. You have given me opportunities to expand myself, test who I am, reach farther then I thought, love deeply without knowing how, & you have helped me step out of every dark corners I placed myself in. You were never afraid, and you were always patient. In so many ways, you have saved me. I know that knowing your love has been a direct gift from God. Thank you Jeremy, for everything.

    One of my all time favourite quote has always been:

           "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envey, it does not boast. It is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered. It keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves. Love never fails."


     I want you to know that it makes me so happy to know that you exemplify this more then any person I have ever met. I love you babe. And though I wasn't able to be there for your birthday.. I hope we can celebrate many more together in the future. :) Happy Birthday my Princess, I cannot wait to kiss you in two months. :) Until then, Stay Classy. ;)



Love,
Kirsten

Fat Baby

To my dearest friend and greatest treasure,

       As I type this you are hopefully sleeping soundly at your last night in the MTC, ever. Tomorrow you fly out to Africa, and begin a two year journey of a lifetime, and then some. You also turned the ripe old age of twenty last Saturday and I wasn't able to celebrate it with you. I'm glad though, because I wouldn't want you anywhere else but right where you are.

      Trev, I am so unbelievably proud of you. You conquered every single obstacle life threw at you, and remained true to your personal goal. You never let a nay sayer sway you, and you never lost total sight of who you are, and what you are capable of. You passed so many milestones, and broke so many limits..I'm sure God is already planning a whirl wind of experiences for you. If there is any missionary out there who can handle it, it's you my brother. And I know you know it, and I know everyone else knows it. You are the strength so many of us needed. And I am sure the strength so many of those Africans need. I know you will move mountains.

      Honestly, there is nothing better then getting a letter from trevasaurus. You bare your testimony of the scriptures and of the living God so honestly and profoundly; A person must be thought a fool to not believe a word you say. You haven't lost sight of the true Trev, and you so earnestly question how my life is going spiritually and otherwise. I love them! I love to hear from you! And I love to laugh out loud each time i read what you have to say. Though you should know these laughs are soon followed by tears. Tears of pride and tears from missing such a dear friend. I wouldn't have it any other way. :)

     Fat baby, I hope your twentieth year brings you so many incredible experiences and changes your life for the better. I hope you will be able to see the hand of God in all of your endeavours, and feel the unlimited love flowing to you from each of your friends and family. It will always be there. I also hope that in these short two years we are apart, you never once question my thoughts and love for you. And I hope you always repeat to yourself, "I am not a missionary douche" for the sake of Charlie and I. ;)

      In your twentieth year, I hope you are brave. I hope you are still. I hope you are happy. I hope you are fulfilled. I hope you know peace. and I hope you never stop laughing. ( if you find yourself with a day that just can't bring laughter.. just think of your mom doing her "special" dance and yelling, "how do you like me know?!!?" haha :) Never loose sight of your goals Trevster. And never forget you are loved.

     Happy Birthday  to my best friend, my brother, and my hero. I'll love you forever boy.

                                           Love,
                                                Kirst.

Hoitle Toitle

Dear Courtney,

I missed your birthday. That makes me a totally awful, no good, dirty rotten, friend. My sincere apologize! But perhaps I can slightly make it up to you by writing you a letter? I sure hope so. :)

       Court, you are such a magnificent human being. I know this because there is not another soul like you. You are one hundred percent, uniquely Courtney. You are a kind, beautiful, and passionate women. And you have taught me so much about the beauty of life, and the beauty of love.

      If there is one thing that I am most grateful for, it is your passion for love. I know how it has troubled you, and I know how often people tell you to give up and turn away, but you never have. And I would place a bet of a million years that you never will. You will NEVER give up on what you believe in most. No matter how scary, or hurtful the end may be. This gift you have is so powerful Courts, and it is so moving. But most of all, it is so very forgotten.

      I know but one person who still believes in the ultimate untainted power of love. One person who has embraced the foolishness it gives and the cruelty it posses. One person, who isn't afraid to lose everything, if it means perhaps gaining more then she could imagine. Courtney, your unfailing belief in love keeps so many of us alive, and it has pulled so many people from the depths of ordinary life. Just being near you is a breath of fresh air that cannot be over looked. When I am around you, I have no choice but to love life, and to love love. All this, because you are not afraid.

     I never could adequately express the gratitude I have for the opportunity to have been your friend. To BE one of your best friends. My life was forever changed the moment we met, and I would not give it back for the life of me. You mean so much to me Courtney, and I owe so much to you. Thank you for always being there, for always talking with me, for giving me advice, for making me laugh my eyeballs out. I swear to you there isn't a more hilarious person on this earth. You are sunshine my love, and I hope I can forever return the kind of true friendship you have shared with me.

    Don't forget my personal website if you ever need me, I am sure you know it. ;)

                                              love your friend,
                                                       me.

If allowed, i fully intended on showering this post with unlimited embarrassing pictures of Snorts. But unfortunately there seems to be a bug with blogger here. so until next year!

a re-post from last march

Dear friend,
   I like how instead of sending me a bouquet of flowers, you send me flowers that are spread out all over. I like how instead of sending me a single note to say you love me, you send me people. I like how when you know I'm struggling, you send me nights of music. I like how when I'm feeling sorry for myself, you send me a troubled friend. I like how when my feet hurt, you send me tolerance. Friend, I like when you send me perfume of rain, and rays of sunshine. But, do you know what I like the most? I like when I feel you near. When you are around me, its like all the gaps within my heart are sealed. and my troubles seem to be bare able, and grand. It feels like a warm sunset. or a well versed conversation with a wonderful friend. or a laugh with a grandfather. and I know this is because, that is who you are. You are a soft rain, and a long walk. A room full of children, and a piano humbly playing. Or a night of good rest, with a morning of eggs. You are simple. Yet, you are everything. You are always near. thank you friend, it means the world and more to me.


                                      with love forever,
                                             Kirsten 


{ i want to feel like this again.}

Dear August,

I have a piece of paper hanging up in my room. It reads, "kindness, laughter, hard work, passion, humility, love.. where are YOU today?" And since the day I put it up, I've not been able to point to one of those and say, "There, there is where I am." But August? Your going to change that. With you bringing new beginnings, restored passions, and the end to a desolate time... you are the perfect choice. 


I wouldn't say i've been necessarily waiting for you.. but now that your here, I can tell I have needed you. As you may have noticed, since seeing you last, a lot has changed. Moods are darker, times are slower, people are louder, and activities arent' quite so... glamorous. Actually now that I think about it, you were probably more then shocked.. But you have always been stable in your coming. Establishing new habits, and excitement. Even now, despite it all, your still the same. I need that. And, though I hate to ask, I need something else too.


Don't let me forget about you, okay? Let me remember every morning when i wake up that "August is here! and He's ready to get busy!" Be my pup that forces a walk out of me every day, my cold shower that brings good chills to my body, and my new car that smells of accomplishment. I know you have it in you, in fact i'm sure your finally thrilled i asked you. 


You're great August! So, if you help me, in return I will make sure each of our days together ends with something happy. Just you and me, and a little break in time. Does that sound good? 


Can't wait for our future together! 
   sincerely, kiri 

dear today

Thank you. For being so good. :)

Dear Grandpa,

Do you remember that time late at night, where I snuck out of my bed to climb on your lap and once and for all discover the truth I already knew? That I was, indeed, your favourite grandchild? I remember it like it was yesterday. I was wearing one of your big t-shirts, and you were sitting on the sofa with blue strips. Of course you had your champagne in hand, and as it bubbled to the top, I looked into your kind eyes, and asked the question. You chuckled and told me that you loved all of us equally. Though I didn't believe you, I accepted the answer and eventually fell asleep on your lap. I don't think I'll ever forget that moment.

I remember another time when I was sitting on your washer and dryer listening to the Annie soundtrack over and over, belting the wrong words out, as loud as I could. You enjoyed it. You always enjoyed it when I sang. Especially when you lived with us, and my friends came over. You would always have us sing you a song. You would bow your head and your eyes would fill with tears... You would look at me, and just smile. Thats the Grandpa I knew. The one I loved.

You were so kind, funny, and warm. Though a lot of things changed after Grandma died, one thing never did. My love for you. I always thought about you Grandpa, I prayed for you, and told you I loved you in the wind. Hoping that maybe... just maybe, you would hear it, and you would remember. I hoped that one day I would see you again, and luckily I did. But it didn't end well, I don't even remember our last memories together. Even then, I never stopped loving you.

I was in Florida when I got the call. I was loading the dishwasher watching Scooby-doo with my cousins, and my mom called. She told me that you were in the hospital and that you were dying. I started crying then. That was the news I had dreaded for the past ten years. Your time had come, and you were slipping away. By the following Tuesday, after putting up quite the battle, you finally went home.. I haven't really cried since then. I think I'm too confused with emotion to cry. I know your in  a better place, and I know that you are surrounded by loved ones. And that you have all your toes back.

But Grandpa, can I tell you something? Missing you won't be anything new. I've missed you for a long time. Even when you were here.. Your a wonderful man. The grandpa I knew, is the man you were. I know it. And i know that you know it. Even though you slipped away these last years... you've always remained the same to me. Because I know you. I know your heart, and I'll tell you Gramps... its made of gold. Thank you. Thank you for loving me, and for letting me climb on your lap, and for singing silly songs to me, and for encouraging me,  but mostly... thanks for being the best grandpa in the world. I love you, and I already can't wait to see you again. Send my love to Grandma.

Love,

    Your favourite Grandchild.  ;)

Dear Today,

Dear Today, 

      When I first met you, I didn't like you very much. I was irritated, frustrated, and felt really worthless. Really, those were my first thoughts of you. But now that I have had the opportunity to accept some of the gifts you've brought me, I have realized that my first impressions were completely wrong. And very selfish. See, even though I met you with a frown and a scowl, you didn't hold back your deliveries. Without hesitation you brought me a listening ear, and an understanding heart. Accompanied by a soothing walk around my beautiful home. You even brought me fresh ingredients to make an appetizing morning smoothie. Which I loved. 

     God knew I needed you, Today. My heart has been stretched quite a bit lately, and my mind perhaps even farther. With all the things on my "To Do List", I feel like I haven't had a breather for quite some time. And, here you are, bringing everything and more. Thank you.

     And again, I'm sorry for my raunchy attitude. I'm sure it wasn't a very pleasant greeting. But to try and make up for it, I fully intend on embracing everything else you have to offer. And I promise I won't just embrace it, I'll full out love it. I'll laugh, and breathe, and share, and try my best to do the best. Its the least I could do for you, Today. I love you.

Gratefully yours, 

         Kiri

dear friend

My dearest friend, 
     To me, you are sunshine. You are girl nights, and chocolate. You are cupcake shakes, and dancing in underwear. You are blonde and beautiful, spiritual and strong. You are books and movies, but only the kind that make you feel good. You are a women of much value, and you are laughter in the wee morning hours. But right now, you are struggling. And all these things that you are, you can not see for yourself. This relization is heart breaking. How could someone so full of potential and love, but weighed down by such trivial distractions and pains? You are so much. And I wish for you to know this, to help you remember. 
   So, today I was thinking about you. I have been a lot actually. I knew you needed help, but I wasn't sure how to go about bringing you some light. I knew a bowl of ice cream and a cold bath wouldn't sooth this one over.. so I turned to the scriptures. And I know that YOUR Heavenly Father lead me straight to a scripture that was meant for you to hear. I read it, and immediately knew what I had to do.
   In the following, I will try to be a love letter from your Father. I am His tool. But I only hope I can portray this correctly. Please, as you continue to read on, have the spirit with you, and try to feel of His love. It is overflowing. 
   Someone once told me that the book of Psalms is like a fortune cookie. You could open it up, read any one of them, and feel a little inspired for your day. So that's what I did, and I came across this scipture; "Stand in awe, and sin not: commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still. Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, and put your trust in the Lord. ...Lord, lift though up the light of they countenance upon us." Psalms 4: 4-6. From this, I saw a list of things that I know will help bring peace to your heart, and calmness to your mind. 
   The first words of this scripture are; stand in awe. When I first read this, I fell in love with it. Stand in awe. I know that no matter where we are in life, we have the opportunity to do this, BECAUSE the Lord has blessed each of our lives with so much. I realize that at times, we are so clouded by struggle and pain that it almost seems impossible that we are blessed at all. But NEVER let this concoction of the Devil's , lead you to believe that this thought is true. Whether you stand in awe of the beauty of the earth, or of the angels He has blessed your life with, or even of His plan as it unravels right in front of you.. there is ALWAYS something to be amazed by. He would not leave you alone in grey skies when your heart was already the portrayel of a rain cloud. Look for the sunshine, I promise you it is there. 
   Sin not, is the next thing on the list. But I would like to change the words to "If you love me, keep my commandments." It is the same thing. The path to peace and happiness comes through the simple tasks He asks us to do. Instead of focusing on that which is in the past, such as sin; try focusing on what you can do now, to let Him know you love Him, and trust in Him. Keep His commandments. They are a sure way out of the depths of Satan's grasp. 
   "Commune with your own heart, and be still" To me, these words sound like a beautiful melody I have been searching for. You know that feeling, when you have something to say, but don't know how to say it? Well, this is that moment. ..Commune with your own heart. Your OWN heart. Your heart knows the answers to your pains. Though it is shattered by the world, never will it loose the ability to heal itself through the truth you already know. All it takes, is to be still. Be still. Calm your racing mind, and your shaking hands. This will be hard, but it is possible. And trust me, once you reach the place where you are still, a flood of peace will wash over you, and your heart will become a little stronger, a little better. And i assure you, you will find hidden answers your have been yearning for.
   In life, we seem to hold onto many things. Friendships, old toys, lost loves, even memories. But every once in a while, we come to a point where we need to sacrifice what we loved, for something better. Let go of your tight holds. Sacrifice something you had, for something that will be much more glorious. Let go of that old friendship, and go forth with the understanding that because of your sacrifice, you WILL be blessed. Holding onto what you had is doing nothing but putting a thicker, higher wall around your heart. Let God, write your story.
  And last, but not least, TRUST IN THE LORD. His pathway is perfect, His plan is happiness, and His love for you is endless. I know, with all of my heart, and my soul, that He DOES love you. That He is worried about you, and that He wants nothing more, than for you to feel His love. But you can't do that if you don't trust in Him. Trust Him, and the gates of peace will open. It will be rough, and at times it will seem almost impossible, but if you hold to the truth; than your blessings will come, and your cloudy heart will clear. Trust in Him,friend. He is waiting for you. 
   I love you dear friend. You have meant so much to me, and have taught me so much about life, and of beauty. And through the opportunity of meeting an angel like you, I have come to know and see more of the blessings God has in store for MY life. That is how I know He has the same plans for you. With all of my heart, even when times get rough and I may seem to forget, I will always know that our Father is there. That He loves us, and that the ONLY thing that is holding us back, is ourselves. He never said it would be easy, He only said it would be worth it. YOU are strong. You are great. and You are beautiful. Whatever it takes, right? I love you.. Forever and always. 

your grateful friend, 
     Kiri 

a letter to a friend.

Dear You,

   I wish I could make you happy. I wish I could wipe away your layers, and help set you free. I wish you could see you, the way I do. and maybe most of all, I wish we didn't have to leave each other. 

  Tonight, I realized that you are gonna be one of the people I miss the most. This doesn't make much sense to me, because its not like we hung out, or talked all the time. But there is something about you, that moves something in me. When I see you, I feel this connection that I wish I had words to describe. Perhaps its a feeling of unfinished business; that I have more to tell you, to show you. Or perhaps its just an awareness that you are indeed a wonderful person, thus the difficulty of leaving you is only expected. Whatever the reason though, there is no mistaking that there is a sense of connection. For me. If that even be the right word.

    I know I already elaborated slightly on this subject in your yearbook, but I wish to go further into what I mean. What I think of you.

    I think your brave. You have gone through quite the chunk of stuff in your life. Whether it be in your family, or school, or with friends. You've had your fair share of trouble. Yet, I get a sense of bravery from you. A feeling that, through it all, you remain to know there is still a light somewhere. That is true strength. An admirable trait. 

    I think you are going to go somewhere in life. You have applied yourself, and worked so hard, to become the achiever you currently are; that there is no denying, you will get what you want. I have no doubt you will finish your schooling preferences, serve a worthy mission, and become a great whatever you are to be. But, not only in the aspect of education will you go places, but also in the area of relationships. By that I'm not saying your life is going to be full of wonderful companionship's  from women, but rather that because of the application of yourself, you will be able to build strong relationships with many different people in your life. And with those relationships, you will be able to be a strong anchor for those in need. You will be able to help save and change lives; simply by living and enduring your own. And with both of these main achievements, you WILL go far. Its inevitable. 

    I think your too hard on yourself. I feel like you don't give yourself enough credit. And, that perhaps if you did, you would be able to make an even bigger difference in your life and in others'. You need to believe more in yourself. You have too much to offer, to just keep holding it back. Don't be afraid, its time. When you cover yourself up, for whatever reason, you loose the intense power, I KNOW lies within you, to conquer your battles, to make a difference, and to create truth. Its not worth it. Perhaps you feel the pain of true rejection will be harder to deal with, or perhaps you believe your not as great as what people think you are; Whatever the reason, I assure you your wrong. Be nice to yourself kid, and watch the liberation come. 

   I think your handsome. suave. and that you deserve the best of the best when it comes time for you to settle down. 

   I think that you have a special place in my heart. That you always have. I'm not sure why I feel this way. Why I wish to understand you, to be your friend, to help you, but I am glad I do. I am glad I have the opportunity to know you, to be around you, to listen to you. I am glad for the times I am able to help you, because helping you brings my heart so much gratification, liberation, and love. Like I said, you have a sweet place in my heart. And every time I see you it softens, and deepens. Thus you have made your mark; and I WILL NOT forget you. How could I? 

   And last but not least, I want you to know that I am here for you. I always am. and always will be. 

 Though my lack of words make my expressions difficult to fully translate, I hope you understand what I am trying to express. I hope you see that you are loved. and that in the end, the most important part of all this is for you to know and understand that you will always have a friend in me. I love you man. 

Love, 

    Kiri
  

Dear Today

Dear Today,
      I don't really know what to do with you. I have ideals and wishes for you, but by the way things have been going, I would almost bet that none of those things are going to happen. Which is a bummer, because that means I probably won't embrace you the way I should. And I know nothing should matter, because your still the greatest gift, but ... sometimes I just don't know what to do. And I'm sorry. However, if I may...I want to ask for some help.
     Today, your presence means a lot to me, because it shows that nothing is over yet. That, though it may be cloudy, the sun is still there. I want to set my life like that. Today? I want to see the sun behind the clouds. I want to run to the sun rays, though they may seem too far. And I want to bask in them. Love them. I want to love them, Today. Will you help me do that? Will you help me love? Will you send me moments where I can see and do just that? I know I may be asking a lot, probably far more than I'm worth, but it is worth the shot to me.
     Any way, most importantly, again I thank you for your presence. Everything is nothing without you to begin with. I hope I can just remember that. Thank you, and I hope I make you laugh :)

Love,
   Kirsten Michelle

Dear Today

Dear Today, 

  You are more than welcome to come, just so you know. :) Because I have so much to promise you. Sorta, make a contract? Seal the deal. you know? ;) Are you ready?

   First off, let me explain how simply..HAPPY I am. With your presence, you have brought me the beginning of a new adventure! A super duper awesome one, that I can't WAIT to embark on!! Thank you pal. :) and second? Here are my promises to you, if you keep this adventure continuing. okay? :) 

1. I promise to listen. watch. and learn. I know I am about to step into a journey that will take me a million miles in every direction, if I let it. And I want to. :) So, with your reminders, I will listen for truth, watch for examples, and learn EVERYTHING I can. 

2. I promise my hardest not to take ANYTHING for granted. I'm so sick of "You never know what you have, till its gone.", getting the best of me. Its rude. and I'm done. So, here I promise to take it all in and bask in its glory! :) 

3. I promise, as much as I can, that I will try and love myself. Yes, I know, me? love myself? HA! But laugh no more, because I really am going to try. Its difficult to teach others, if you can not trust yourself. Ya know? Its also hard to fully love others, if you can not love yourself. And I don't want myself, getting in the way of myself anymore. Sure I'm tall, and thick, and lazy, and dirty, and.. well.. all those other dumb things. BUT! Here I am world, ready to try. :) Help me out a little, okay? ;) 

4. I promise to keep close to the Gospel and to Christ. I know that He is the man with the plan, and if I plan to be happy, and to help make others happy, He is the best choice. Forever and always. He is my guide, and I will serve him for life. :) 

5. I promise to laugh. at myself. at others, (kindly,of course.), and at things that simply just make me happy. 

6. I promise to use my time wisely. If your my friend now, you will always be my friend. and I will ALWAYS have time for you. Just because I may SEEM tied up, I'm not. I'm still yours. SO PLEASE USE ME!! :) 

aaaaaaaaand, for now that's all I can think of. But six is good. Six is GREAT!

especially because I mean every single one of those. 

so, Today, Keep an eye on me. And trust in me. and I will prove to you that I love you, by following my word. :) Thanks a million for you visit. And let it be known that I'm super excited to spend your gift wisely.

                          Love yours truly, 

             Kiri

letter to God

Dear friend, 
   I like how instead of sending me a bouquet of flowers, you send me flowers that are spread out all over. I like how instead of sending me a single note to say you love me, you send me people. I like how when you know I'm struggling, you send me nights of music. I like how when I'm feeling sorry for myself, you send me a troubled friend. I like how when my feet hurt, you send me tolerance. Friend, I like when you send me perfume of rain, and rays of sunshine. But, do you know what I like the most? I like when I feel you near. When you are around me, its like all the gaps within my heart are sealed. and my troubles seem to be bare able, and grand. It feels like a warm sunset. or a well versed conversation with a wonderful friend. or a laugh with a grandfather. and I know this is because, that is who you are. You are a soft rain, and a long walk. A room full of children, and a piano humbly playing. Or a night of good rest, with a morning of eggs. You are simple. Yet, you are everything. You are always near. thank you friend, it means the world and more to me. 


                                      with love forever,
                                             Kirsten