last night i bought a candle that smells of mulled cider. {or a perfect fall day}
it was a dollar.
As i sat watching the flame flicker back and forth, I couldn't help but feel connected to it in some way. I understood this when my friend tried to blow out the candle "because it might start a fire."
sometimes i understand myself better then i think. Even though day after day after day, i feel as if my flickering flame inside of me grows dimmer and weaker, i know its still there. and, will always be there. But unlike a candle, i don't have to wait for someone to light me. Sometimes i think i do. but in reality, I am the one holding the match at all times. And I am the only one who can choose to be blown out.
for some time now i have felt, for lack of better words, common. Each day a dream or sensation i once had, found itself slowly making it to the back of my mind where it would collect nothing but dust.. I started taking advice about every decision from every person i knew, but never stopping to ask what my own opinion was. I knew what i wanted to do, and that it could be done. but i found myself believing there was only one way to do it. And that was the right way.
After watching my flame last night, i have come to believe, realize, and think.. that this isn't true anymore. Like the flame of the candle, passion to burn..is all thats needed to succeed. I don't need an okay from a friend, a signed paper, a large bank account, or a certain frame. I just need to know whatever the heck it is i want to be, or do, or see... and go after it. I need to remember that the flame inside of me.. is the only thing i should turn to when directing my life in any direction. It will never lead me in a direction that might be good..only in one that IS good.
the flame inside of me is bright. it is strong. and, i will follow it. and when people say it isn't right, or it will be hard, or that its plainly stupid.. I'll look at them and say nothing back. because their fight isn't with me, its with themselves.
from this dollar candle from walmart, i learned once again that i am more then what i seem to be. And that i should never give up the fight, or become less of what i am meant to be. but perhaps most importantly, that this flame.. is probably the only honest thing left in me, in us. And we, i, need to fight every day, to keep it that way. it will never be blown out.
i am my flame.
my flame is me.
and i will start a fire.
it was a dollar.
As i sat watching the flame flicker back and forth, I couldn't help but feel connected to it in some way. I understood this when my friend tried to blow out the candle "because it might start a fire."
sometimes i understand myself better then i think. Even though day after day after day, i feel as if my flickering flame inside of me grows dimmer and weaker, i know its still there. and, will always be there. But unlike a candle, i don't have to wait for someone to light me. Sometimes i think i do. but in reality, I am the one holding the match at all times. And I am the only one who can choose to be blown out.
for some time now i have felt, for lack of better words, common. Each day a dream or sensation i once had, found itself slowly making it to the back of my mind where it would collect nothing but dust.. I started taking advice about every decision from every person i knew, but never stopping to ask what my own opinion was. I knew what i wanted to do, and that it could be done. but i found myself believing there was only one way to do it. And that was the right way.
After watching my flame last night, i have come to believe, realize, and think.. that this isn't true anymore. Like the flame of the candle, passion to burn..is all thats needed to succeed. I don't need an okay from a friend, a signed paper, a large bank account, or a certain frame. I just need to know whatever the heck it is i want to be, or do, or see... and go after it. I need to remember that the flame inside of me.. is the only thing i should turn to when directing my life in any direction. It will never lead me in a direction that might be good..only in one that IS good.
the flame inside of me is bright. it is strong. and, i will follow it. and when people say it isn't right, or it will be hard, or that its plainly stupid.. I'll look at them and say nothing back. because their fight isn't with me, its with themselves.
from this dollar candle from walmart, i learned once again that i am more then what i seem to be. And that i should never give up the fight, or become less of what i am meant to be. but perhaps most importantly, that this flame.. is probably the only honest thing left in me, in us. And we, i, need to fight every day, to keep it that way. it will never be blown out.
i am my flame.
my flame is me.
and i will start a fire.
