Everyone that I loved was gathering on this strange night, for an occasion. A personal occasion.
It was a beautiful small beach house, one with perfect views of Manhattan Beach, California. The sun was preparing to set, as the tables and chairs were being decorated with the decor that would match perfectly with the cake. Helpers, and family, began to filter in. I watched as it all started to come together.
Being one of the first ones there, I sat patiently anticipating what the next couple of hours would bring. In just a few short moments, I would be married to the kid that first took my heart. My first real boyfriend, Kaden.
Though.. since our friendship had somehow fallen apart, and we hadn't talked since.. here I was, preparing myself to marry him. Somewhere in between the chaos of life, he had figured out that I was the one he wished upon. and I? Consented. Kaden is a great guy. I would be happy, and I would be taken care of, I knew that.
So there I sat upon the stairs. Heart thumping, and fear causing me to choke on my own thoughts.
"What had I done? Is this all I had really wanted? Am I ready to give up potential true love, for safety love? Is this the path that would lead me to the dreams I've had since I was a little girl? ... and if not.. did it matter anymore?"
The thoughts wouldn't stop coming.
Eventually my sweet spirited cousin Natasha found me withered in pain and fear. She scooped me up, and looked into my tear filled eyes. " Kiri, you must be happy. It will all be okay." She muttered these words into my ear as she hugged me tightly.
I'm not sure what she meant by them. But they were enough. With a power I've never felt before, I backed away, looked into her loving eyes shook my head and said, with silent humbling resolve,
" I want more than this. I AM more than this."
And with that I took off running. I flew open the glass sliding doors, and with my white dress crumpled in my hands, I ran into the sun warmed sand, away from what once was, and toward the grey oceans comfort.
Behind me I could hear the calls of loved ones. "How could she make us all come here for nothing? So selfish! I slaved away on these decorations, there better be a wedding! Does that mean I can take this ugly tux off? She'll come back, she always does. How dare she.. doesn't she know the money spent on this wedding is more important then her wants?!"....
But the farther I ran, the more muddled their sounds became. The more pointless and meaningless their calls to me meant..
Looking behind me, there was only one who had followed after me.. my dear Natasha. But she wasn't chasing me to come back, she was running with me. Giving me the silent encouragement she knew I would need.
Looking ahead again, I ran faster.
this time? I ran to my dreams.
