Its three AM. and I just can't seem to fall asleep. Too much is running through my mind. So as usual, I'll purge it all out on my blog. This place has proven to be a life saver for me.
Tomorrow, er, today, is the fateful going away party of one of my best friends, Hannah. In just one more week she will be heading out on her own adventure, to sunny Florida. ..That's clear across the states..and she's not just going for a couple months. She will be there for YEARS. I'm soooooo happy for her. She will thrive in Florida. and its exactly what she needs. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm going to miss her like crazy..
Over time, Hannah has become one of my closest and best friends. She has inspired me, lifted me, been there for me, laughed and cried with me, and all those other things best friends do with each other. BUT, Hannah isn't just another best friend. Hannah is a sort of angel. She has this powerful way of loving you, that makes you believe you can do anything.. No matter who you are, she will hold you to a high standard, because she knows you can always be better. She is happy for you when you succeed, and catches you when you fall. She is a master at the art of tough love. And its so beautiful. SHE is beautiful. She is strong. She is passionate. She is caring. She is everything good. She has been a life saver to me on many many accounts..
and now? She will be living clear across the country from me. I'm not handling this change very well. Its tough. and I doubt I'm ready. I'm gonna miss her. I'm gonna miss her A LOT. ..
It seems I'm not ready for any coming changes. With each friend that splits in their own direction, I get a little more sad, a little more worried, and a little more regretful. Its so odd to me, that people I have spent my life with, I may never see again. People I love, I may not talk to anymore, just because of distance, and time. I reaaaally don't like it. This whole change thing is burrowing a deep whole within my heart, and I'm scared of how big its getting. I know all of this is inevitable, but that doesn't make the hurt fade away...
I wish I could rewind time, and spend it more wisely. If that were possible, I would hold my friends tighter, laugh with them longer, talk with them deeper, smile with them wider, and cherish who they are forever. I let to many moments slip through my fingers... and I regret every chance I didn't take...
But as the end of summer grows near, and my friends begin their journeys elsewhere, I am beginning to see just how blessed I was, am. In my young eighteen years of life, God has blessed me with a countless amount of angels. Each blessing my life in a unique and beautiful way. Each of you, an angel to me. Dear examples, and bright lights. How grateful I am for the presence of the love and the laughter each of my angels, my friends, brought into my life..
"How lucky I am...
..to have something so hard to say goodbye too."
