For the past while, I have felt so weak. vulnerable. useless. and worn. Not because my life isn't filled with love, or friendship and family, but because within my spirit...I can feel something missing. When I stand quietly, alone, I feel like someone is trying to tell me something.. As if there is a special task for me to do, or a place for me to go..But as hard as I try, I can't seem to discover what exactly "its" telling me to do. I am left feeling more alone, more confused, and more worthless than before. What must I do to hear the voice that silently calls to me? Even as I type now, I can fill the strength and the importance of this secret message. ... But I am still left questioning.
I want more in my life. I want sincerity and beauty. I want strength and I want driven purpose. This...task, will lead me there. I feel that within me, I have so much to offer. Not me, But Him. He has so much to offer within me, and through me.. and I will surely let Him down, if I can not see clearly.. The other day I went to an institute class and we were learning in Revelation about listening and hearing, and truly learning of the Gospel. But as I sat in the very back, and watched as this wonderful man taught this class full of deep beautiful minds,...I felt again like I couldn't really see. or hear. That which I was supposed to. Don't mistake my words. What he was teaching was true, and strong. But.. for me, I felt that what I was meant to hear was within the silence of myself...
but I could not hear it.
I am unable to reach that spot. The spot where my spirit, and my mind connect. I feel like I can't reach it, because I have gone to long in this life. I have lived a life of unimportance for too long, that I have forgotten my real purpose here.. that is what I'm searching for. Yearning for.
Silence speaks. and I can not hear, because I have forgotten how. This is an unquestionable act. How dare I forget? This is not my life to live. .. it is His. I am His tool. But how can that be if I live only the life that benefits myself?
... I wish to go home. I want to be wrapped in the mercy of His love. I want to feel completely whole again...
Temporal life is beautiful. Far more beautiful than I can even fully understand. Look around you. We are constantly surrounded by beauty. Whether it be in a grandmother, or a blooming flower, or a sweet word... beauty wraps us up in a constant warm blanket. LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL. That will not change. And to even begin to express my gratitude for this life, would be pointless, for there are no words within me that would quite describe how I feel... and yet..at the same time.. I just wish to go back home. Though I don't remember a thing about it, I miss it. I can feel, within my heart, that something wonderful was there. ...I yearn for something I have forgotten all about.
I am alone.
and yet I am so full.
I want more in my life. I want sincerity and beauty. I want strength and I want driven purpose. This...task, will lead me there. I feel that within me, I have so much to offer. Not me, But Him. He has so much to offer within me, and through me.. and I will surely let Him down, if I can not see clearly.. The other day I went to an institute class and we were learning in Revelation about listening and hearing, and truly learning of the Gospel. But as I sat in the very back, and watched as this wonderful man taught this class full of deep beautiful minds,...I felt again like I couldn't really see. or hear. That which I was supposed to. Don't mistake my words. What he was teaching was true, and strong. But.. for me, I felt that what I was meant to hear was within the silence of myself...
but I could not hear it.
I am unable to reach that spot. The spot where my spirit, and my mind connect. I feel like I can't reach it, because I have gone to long in this life. I have lived a life of unimportance for too long, that I have forgotten my real purpose here.. that is what I'm searching for. Yearning for.
Silence speaks. and I can not hear, because I have forgotten how. This is an unquestionable act. How dare I forget? This is not my life to live. .. it is His. I am His tool. But how can that be if I live only the life that benefits myself?
... I wish to go home. I want to be wrapped in the mercy of His love. I want to feel completely whole again...
Temporal life is beautiful. Far more beautiful than I can even fully understand. Look around you. We are constantly surrounded by beauty. Whether it be in a grandmother, or a blooming flower, or a sweet word... beauty wraps us up in a constant warm blanket. LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL. That will not change. And to even begin to express my gratitude for this life, would be pointless, for there are no words within me that would quite describe how I feel... and yet..at the same time.. I just wish to go back home. Though I don't remember a thing about it, I miss it. I can feel, within my heart, that something wonderful was there. ...I yearn for something I have forgotten all about.
I am alone.
and yet I am so full.
