What if you knew when you were going to die? What if by some strange phenomena, you knew your time line? What if you knew that within a few short weeks.. your time line ended? What would you say to those you loved? What legend would you wish to leave behind? How would you handle it? What if you were 18, about to graduate high school, and with a bright future ahead of you? Would you feel accomplished? Would you get greedy and beg God for more time? Or would you look forward to meeting him face to face? How would you spend your last few weeks on earth? How would you come to grips that all your dreams, were never meant to be? Would you feel like you lived a legacy? Like you did your deeds? How would you prepare your family and friends.. without them thinking your crazy?
..What if you knew when you were going to die?
You hear stories about it all the time.. People getting a hunch that their time is near. So they write letters to their children, plant final gardens, or do that one thing they've always wanted to do, like bungee jump. I know you have heard of them. In stories. But what if, you were about to meet one? What if one of those stories was about to become personal to you? How would you deal with the loss of a loved one? Or, someone you didn't really know, but said "Hi" to in the halls? What if that person was supposed to walk behind you in the graduation line? How do you deal with the loss of someone you know? You loved?
or better yet, how do you leave behind people you love? How do you willingly, let it all go? How..do you become okay with the idea, that your life ends at age 18?
If I were to..die. To get some random sickness, or end up in a car wreck, there are so many things I would want people to know, I wouldn't know where to start. Each individual I know, whether it be someone I acknowledge in the hallway, or my own mother..has something I know I need to say to them. And, say, my time WAS running out, or, ran out, what would happen to my purpose? Would I have failed? or would it be carried through, through other sources? There are so many things to think about, when your about to die. ..I would imagine.
Its an odd thing, living like your going to die. I'm not sure how I feel about it.. but that only leads to the question..
If you were going to die, would you want to know? ...
IF I do..die, soon. I would want these things to be known:
1. I believe in God. I believe that from the moment I die, I will be in utter peace. Surrounded by people I love, and by people who have watched me through out my life. I believe I will see my Father face to face, and I hope to say he will look at me in the eyes, and greet me back home, lovingly. I. BELIEVE. IN. GOD.
2. I love my family. Honestly, I don't think I could have picked a better father and Mother. They were exactly right for me. Trustworthy, honest, kind, gentle. Always pushing me to be a little better. My parents are my angels. I look forward to spending forever with them. and that goes for my siblings as well. I do realize that we aren't the best to each other. That we probably fight more than we love. But nonetheless, it wouldn't be Heaven without them. I DO love them. My brothers, and my sister. Why God has blessed ME, with such a beautiful strong family, is beyond me. But I am grateful, and will be forever in debt for them. For that blessing.
3. I love my extended family. I never felt more loved, then when I was with you guys. On BOTH sides. Though each of you played a different roll in my life, all of you played a big roll. I've learned so much from all of you, and have shaped who I am, because of you. Sometimes I catch myself stuck in total awe, as to why I am lucky enough to have family, such as you guys. I don't deserve all of you. But I am glad to have you. I can only hope that I was as much help to you, as you were to me. At least in some way. I love my family. I always will. Though my life may end, my love won't. I'll believe that, forever.
4. When I die, I'm not sure HOW I'll die. I'm not sure if it will be a car wreck, or a mis-calculation on perscription drugs, or one of those freaky "all of the sudden" type things. BUT, if for some reason, my death involves others. ie; driver of a car, doctors fault, or someone threw a baseball too hard..I hope they know that I would NEVER hold them accountable for ending my life. and I would NEVER blame them. I have come to believe, that EVERYTHING, and I mean, everything, happens for a reason. I may not know why, but I do know it was by design. You were meant to kill me. ( your supposed to laugh at that ;) ) But seriously, when something happens to me, don't blame yourself. I'll be so mad if you do. Please. Also, know that I love you. Even if I didn't know you, had I have gotten the privilege, I probably would have. So its the same thing. :)
5. God has blessed me WAY beyond what I have deserved. Not only was I graced with a perfect family, but I was also fortunate enough to have incredible people walk into my life. From friends, to teachers, to co-workers, to random people on the streets. (Literally.) I honestly kneel down to pray every night and ask my God, "why? why you have you sent me so many wonderful people, when I deserve nothing?" I've never received an answer, but nonetheless, I have always been grateful. The people that have been involved in my life, have helped create my final character. I am who I am, because of you guys. And, not only that. But by knowing you, you helped me serve. I was able to, I believe, accomplish my mission on earth, solely because I knew you all. I was sent here, to serve. To be Gods hands. ..And if it wasn't for you, there would be nowhere for these hands to go. So I thank you all, everyone I know, for that grace. That opportunity. I truly was a blessed, and loved daughter of God. I love you.
6. at my funeral, Chantay and Trina better cry. ;)
sigh, I'm sure there are many more things to be said, at the end of someones life. Whether it be 18 years or 80 years.. But for now, for tonight. These six things will stand to be. to all of whoever it applies to. (Which is all of you, in case you didn't pick that up.)
But, in the end, to answer my own question: Are you afraid to die?
Yes. But I owe more than my life to my God. So, terrified or not, I would die. Besides, death is going to be a great adventure, dontchya think? ;)
...
..What if you knew when you were going to die?
You hear stories about it all the time.. People getting a hunch that their time is near. So they write letters to their children, plant final gardens, or do that one thing they've always wanted to do, like bungee jump. I know you have heard of them. In stories. But what if, you were about to meet one? What if one of those stories was about to become personal to you? How would you deal with the loss of a loved one? Or, someone you didn't really know, but said "Hi" to in the halls? What if that person was supposed to walk behind you in the graduation line? How do you deal with the loss of someone you know? You loved?
or better yet, how do you leave behind people you love? How do you willingly, let it all go? How..do you become okay with the idea, that your life ends at age 18?
If I were to..die. To get some random sickness, or end up in a car wreck, there are so many things I would want people to know, I wouldn't know where to start. Each individual I know, whether it be someone I acknowledge in the hallway, or my own mother..has something I know I need to say to them. And, say, my time WAS running out, or, ran out, what would happen to my purpose? Would I have failed? or would it be carried through, through other sources? There are so many things to think about, when your about to die. ..I would imagine.
Its an odd thing, living like your going to die. I'm not sure how I feel about it.. but that only leads to the question..
If you were going to die, would you want to know? ...
IF I do..die, soon. I would want these things to be known:
1. I believe in God. I believe that from the moment I die, I will be in utter peace. Surrounded by people I love, and by people who have watched me through out my life. I believe I will see my Father face to face, and I hope to say he will look at me in the eyes, and greet me back home, lovingly. I. BELIEVE. IN. GOD.
2. I love my family. Honestly, I don't think I could have picked a better father and Mother. They were exactly right for me. Trustworthy, honest, kind, gentle. Always pushing me to be a little better. My parents are my angels. I look forward to spending forever with them. and that goes for my siblings as well. I do realize that we aren't the best to each other. That we probably fight more than we love. But nonetheless, it wouldn't be Heaven without them. I DO love them. My brothers, and my sister. Why God has blessed ME, with such a beautiful strong family, is beyond me. But I am grateful, and will be forever in debt for them. For that blessing.
3. I love my extended family. I never felt more loved, then when I was with you guys. On BOTH sides. Though each of you played a different roll in my life, all of you played a big roll. I've learned so much from all of you, and have shaped who I am, because of you. Sometimes I catch myself stuck in total awe, as to why I am lucky enough to have family, such as you guys. I don't deserve all of you. But I am glad to have you. I can only hope that I was as much help to you, as you were to me. At least in some way. I love my family. I always will. Though my life may end, my love won't. I'll believe that, forever.
4. When I die, I'm not sure HOW I'll die. I'm not sure if it will be a car wreck, or a mis-calculation on perscription drugs, or one of those freaky "all of the sudden" type things. BUT, if for some reason, my death involves others. ie; driver of a car, doctors fault, or someone threw a baseball too hard..I hope they know that I would NEVER hold them accountable for ending my life. and I would NEVER blame them. I have come to believe, that EVERYTHING, and I mean, everything, happens for a reason. I may not know why, but I do know it was by design. You were meant to kill me. ( your supposed to laugh at that ;) ) But seriously, when something happens to me, don't blame yourself. I'll be so mad if you do. Please. Also, know that I love you. Even if I didn't know you, had I have gotten the privilege, I probably would have. So its the same thing. :)
5. God has blessed me WAY beyond what I have deserved. Not only was I graced with a perfect family, but I was also fortunate enough to have incredible people walk into my life. From friends, to teachers, to co-workers, to random people on the streets. (Literally.) I honestly kneel down to pray every night and ask my God, "why? why you have you sent me so many wonderful people, when I deserve nothing?" I've never received an answer, but nonetheless, I have always been grateful. The people that have been involved in my life, have helped create my final character. I am who I am, because of you guys. And, not only that. But by knowing you, you helped me serve. I was able to, I believe, accomplish my mission on earth, solely because I knew you all. I was sent here, to serve. To be Gods hands. ..And if it wasn't for you, there would be nowhere for these hands to go. So I thank you all, everyone I know, for that grace. That opportunity. I truly was a blessed, and loved daughter of God. I love you.
6. at my funeral, Chantay and Trina better cry. ;)
sigh, I'm sure there are many more things to be said, at the end of someones life. Whether it be 18 years or 80 years.. But for now, for tonight. These six things will stand to be. to all of whoever it applies to. (Which is all of you, in case you didn't pick that up.)
But, in the end, to answer my own question: Are you afraid to die?
Yes. But I owe more than my life to my God. So, terrified or not, I would die. Besides, death is going to be a great adventure, dontchya think? ;)
...
