some thinking

I've been thinking a lot lately, always healthy. aaaand, you know what I've been thinking? about growin up. and being together.

I am growing up. You know that? I just don't know, HOW, I'm growing up. In all the wrong ways, probably. I'm taking on responsibility, and i hate it. I'm making big decisions, and i'm terrified of it. I'm sitting more, eating more, and laughing less. and I feel more and more dull everyday. this is called growing up. I, still want to be a kid. I wanna play in the dirt, and come home after dark, and kiss boys, and wear no shoes or make-up to the store. I wanna sing at the top of my lunges while driving down the street, and bash my computer to pieces. Yes. I DO want to do that. 

too bad I'm growing up now. because now I gotta be boring.

Now, to being together. 

Being an eighteen year old, GIRL, I am fully entitled to making the statement of: I WANT A BOYFRIEND. Sure that's a little blunt, drastic, and needy. But I don't care much anymore. let it be known to the world, that I WANT TO BE LOVED. I see nothing wrong with that. I want someone to share stories with, to understand me. I want to hang out at someones house, and fall in love with a new family. I want to bake cookies, and laugh the whole time. I want to take long drives, and park at the airport. I want to feel the wind in my hair, and an arm around my waist. I want to get excited when I see someone, feel butterflies when his name appears on my phone. i want, (and according to my mom, NEED) someone to get ready for. i want to do all the cliche wonderful things you see in the movies. 

is this a crime? a sin? if it is..than lock me up.

because I just can't help it.