I realize i've posted three blogs already tonight, but deal with one more?
because i just want to confess something.
I need help.
I have a serious addiction to food. Now, please don't laugh, because i'm being very serious here. food has the better of me. and the worst. I hate it. I hate it more than anything, because its decrementing my spirit. its getting in the way of lots of things, things you wouldn't even connect with food. Friends, I need help. how do i stop this dangerous addiction? its really killing me. my spirit. my body. my heart. my everything.
and, believe me. I've tried every trick in the book. diets, goals, positive motto's, distractions, NOTHING is working... and i just hate it. I hate feeling out of control. I hate feeling like something has the better of me. Especially something as stupid as food. you have no idea how ultimatly lame i feel right now. or how hard it is to admit this addiction. but i really don't know what to do... yes its pathetic. yes its stupid. yes i'm a weakling. but i still need help. because this is as real as you and me.
the worst part of it though, is Satan has got such a good hold on me, my view of others has begun to change... it kills me to admit that.. but i feel i have to be completely honest, if i'm going to get any better. Know this about me: i love people. I love women. I think everyone of you are beautiful, and strong, and courageous. and deserve the best of everything. what I say now, is more important than anything I may think. No matter your size, your heigth, your hair colour, or your past, you are beautiful. forever and always. I will go to my grave believing that. about everyone.
but i can't handle the Advisory working like mad against these beliefs, because of my own dang insecurities and failures that he has so graciously helped me create. I can't do it. I can't handle it.
and its getting in the way of my life.
I need help. I'm officially at the end of my rope.
..please? what can/should i do?
I don't want to feel trapped anymore.
I don't want to feel weak anymore.
I don't want to feel numb anymore.
